(A Biblical Perspective by Al Thomas)

I HAVE A FRIEND WHO HAD A TROUBLED CHILDHOOD 
   
He always wanted to please his Dad, but it seemed he never could. The father was not affectionate and lacked the skills to be loving to his son. So the son’s relationship was based on works, not unconditional acceptance. He tried to live by his father’s rules, not by his father’s love for him. He never measured up. He tried to create a relationship based on works, not based on being a son. With many people this carries over to our relationship with God. God can heal this! No matter how perfect or imperfect any earthly father relationship has been, God wants to develop an intimate, loving and accepted relationship between Himself and you, His child. I want to talk to you about grace.
 
Someone has said, "It is easier to live by rules than to develop a relationship"

That's how a works oriented Christian lives. Let’s take a look: 

I. THE DANGERS OF A WORKS BASED RELATIONSHIP:  
            a. A Works oriented relationship with God cannot:
                1. Justify you. They never will.  (Romans 4: 2-6)
                2. Determine your salvation. They never will. (Romans 9:11).
                3. Gain the kind of righteousness God demands. They never will. (Rom.9:                     31-32).
                4. Be a substitute for grace. They never will. (Romans 11:6).
            b. A Works oriented relationship creates:
                1. Rules instead of God’s righteousness, (Col. 2:20-23; Gal.4:10-11).
                2. Insecurity, (“Always wondering if you're measuring up”)
                3. Pressure ("I hope I don't fail")
                4. Guilt (“When you do fail”)
                5. Resentment ("This is too hard")
                6. Misery ("No way out")
                7. Eventual desertion of duty. ("This is impossible!") Often this is why                     people backslide.

Don’t misunderstand, works are important. There is a reward for our works (1 Cor.3: 13-15).  We were created for good works, (Eph.2:10). And we are being prepared for works, (2 Tim.2:21;3:17). But, don’t count on them to get God’s approval. You’ve already got that. Until you get this in your spirit the accuser will give you guilt. You don't want that.

II. THE BLESSINGS OF A GRACE BASED RELATIONSHIP WILL PRODUCE:
            a. Love rather than fear,(1 Tim. 1:7; 1 John 3:1) and peacerather than                 pressure,(John16:33;14:27; Rom.14:17; Phil. 4:7).
            b.  A desire to please God, rather than an obligation,(Matt.3:17& 17:5). Note                 that in Matt.3:17, Jesus hadn't done a thing, His ministry had not even                 started, (no works), yet God was pleased with Him. Why, because of                 relationship only.
            c. Security (no chance of being fired if I make a mistake). You know the                 Boss is not going to bash you in the head, every time you stumble. You                 know He is a loving God. Not a mean and impatient God. Read Exodus                 34: 6,7.

III. YOU MUST BE FIRMLY GROUNDED IN THE GRACE OF GOD:
            a. YOU HAVE TO BE 100% CONVINCED THAT YOU ARE ACCEPTED BY                 GOD. (Eph. 1:6; 1 Peter 2:5)  You are qualified to serve Him (Col.                 1:12). Trying to measure up or get good enough simply won't work. This is                 difficult for some to grasp but it must be accepted or you will have ‘severe                 attacks of unworthiness” that will cripple you. The enemy is an expert at                 getting people to think God frowns on them instead of loving them. This is                 straight from the pit of hell. Reject it now.
            b. YOU MUST KNOW YOU ARE PRECIOUS TO GOD Remember you are                 an object of His love, (Eph. 2:4, 5:2). His grace, (Eph. 2:8-9;Rom.5:2). His                 power, (Eph.1:19). His faithfulness, (Phil. 1:6). His peace,                 (John14:27). His intercession, (Rom.8:34; Heb.7:25). Do you kinda get the                 feeling He cares for you? Let that sink in real deep. Then deeper.
 
SUMMARY: Many people have a series of performances for God and other people. They live with a set of unspoken, yet clearly defined rules they feel are necessary to fulfill in order to please God. Personal disciplines are good, until we hold on to them more tightly than we hold on to Jesus. Our approval from God is not based on a list of "do's and don't's", but rather on a relationship that Christ paid dearly for. Jesus came to set you free(JOHN8:36). Stop suffering in guilt and the accusations of the devil and start walking in the freedom of Jesus. You might like it.