(A Biblical Perspective by Al Thomas)

Many years ago a seasoned man of God said to me, "Whenever you first start to speak to someone, whether on the phone or in person, always ask 'how you are doing.' Don't begin by telling them your troubles. Everyone has troubles, but you (like Jesus did) must be more concerned about the other person than about yourself. It tells a lot about someone when they only talk about themselves. So, be like Jesus, think about the other person first. This is what love does and what Jesus did." I never forgot that. And I haven't always lived up to it. Whenever we put ourselves before others we are judging them (we're more important than them). Oh, the times I waxed eloquent about me! What I was doing or what I was going to do. Self centeredness is failure. Confession: In my life, I'm afraid my failures would far outweigh my successes. I'm still learning to:

DON'T JUDGE OTHERS Judgment kills love. Because people are so easily offended today they have a tendency to judge others. Instead, observe others. Learn from their failures and their successes, but do not judge them (ROMANS 14:13). You don't have all the facts, only God does. You don't know what pain they have. That old song, "What the world needs now is love, sweet love.it's the only thing that there's just too little of?" is true. I have a neighbor that I judged more than I have loved. Yet, he needs my love more than the judgment. I know this yet the judgment keeps outweighing the love. I have repented more than a few times for this. My neighbor will perhaps never know how God has used him to draw me to prayer. Maybe you have someone like that. We are so petty in our judgments. Oh, to be like Jesus, to accept others with such an unbiased love that they would see you want nothing else from them. God gives Jesus authority to judge all men because of who He is. Only Jesus is uniquely qualified to judge because He is God and has existed from eternity (JOHN 1:1). As God, He knows everything, can be everywhere at once, and has unlimited authority and power. So, He can judge perfectly, without error or partiality. We cannot. What we see is often clouded with loveless judgment. Jesus will judge with perfect righteousness balanced with His perfect love. Don't judge others. As we judge others so will we be judged (MATT. 7:1). This should stop many of us in our tracks, take a deep breath and go on.
DON'T JUDGE YOURSELF (1 COR. 4:3) You can examine yourself but that is different from judging yourself (2 COR. 3:5). When you examine yourself you look within. When we judge we look without. Yes, sometimes you do act like a no good dirty rotten buzzard, (me too). But, we are not qualified to judge ourselves. Yes, all of us could improve; all of us could get a little closer to God (JAMES 4:8). All of us need a little rebuking sometimes (PSALM 141:5). But, the greatest advancements in my walk with God has always come from receiving His love. Love goes a long way. Love stretches from the pit of hell all the way to the highest heaven. Let God judge you. He balances it with His love. We all (once in a while) need correction, but we need love all the time. I'm continually amazed at how weak we are. Maybe you're not like that. Maybe you're way ahead of me. I hope so. Not judging yourself doesn't mean you don't have self control. Actually it means you have more discipline because if Jesus, by His sacrificial death, made these great mercies available to us, how much more shall we give of ourselves to Him? One day judgment is coming (ROMANS 2:16), but His mercy is greater (PSALM 52:8). Yes, truth is coming, (Jesus is truth) but it is coupled with mercy (PSALM 85:10). When you judge yourself you are doing God's job. Don't do that. Examine, slowly with grace.
LOOK AT YOURSELF LIKE JESUS DOES This is a hard thing to do, but a must thing. God really does want us to enjoy ourselves here on this earth, to be at peace with ourselves and other people (1 THESS 5:13). No one knows the true you but God. Thank God. He who made you knows you like no other. He knows your strengths, your giftings, your weaknesses and your inner most thoughts. Amazingly, even though God knows all this.He still loves you. He accepts you. You're not just barely making it in. So many think, "God must be mad at me, all the times I have failed.etc." Friend, you don't know how many times everyone has failed. The church is made up of failures. He accepts you because He is madly in love with you (ROM. 5:5). To truly be at peace with God you must be convinced that He is in love with you. I've heard broken hearted men and women (going through the pain of divorce) tell me, "She/he says that they love me, but they are not in love with me." God is in love with you. When you are in love with someone an affair is going on. Feelings are involved. God has feelings for you. The real joy in the Christian life comes forth when both you and God are in love at the same time. Remember when you met that special someone and you couldn't get them out of your mind? You were obsessed with them. Well, listen, child of God, He is obsessed with you. He is fanatically, passionately (can't help Himself) in love with you. And He is not going away. He is going to catch you with His love.
LOOK AT OTHERS LIKE JESUS DOES Jesus looks at people for what they will become, not where they are now. He never berates someone because of immaturity or weakness. He sees greatness in every person. He will never miss a chance to compliment or encourage. He goes out of His way to bless people, yet never tries to promote Himself. He never forces His kingship on the situation (JOHN 6:15) yet He is the King. He isn't a control freak, but when you stop fearing others will control you, His freedom will come (JOHN 8:36). He will not force Himself on you, but the (real) force will be with you if you surrender all to Him (ROM. 8:32). This God of peace that we serve actually destroys His enemies with peace, not war (ROMANS 16:20). Want mercy when He comes? The scripture tells us that we will have it if we show others mercy (JAMES 2:13). This is the victory we must have. Do your enemies deserve this mercy? Of course not. But neither do you. That is why we must give it to them. To see them as Jesus does, as a pitiful person, (like you once were) but worth saving. The bonus is that once you begin loving them and seeing them as Jesus does. Suddenly they are transformed from enemies to friends and friends to family (PROV. 16:7; MATT. 5:44). Sounds like a God thing to me. Love or judgment? Looks like a no-brainer. I think I'll go talk to my neighbor.